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Simon sez

Threat advisory: Low - Low risk of entertaining activities

Movie propaganda

Simon (Dennis Rodman) works on the case of a louche weapons dealer when he meets Nick (Dane Cook), an agent of a large software company who is delivering the ransom for his boss' daughter. It doesn't take long before Simon gots himself into a deadly game of murder and intrigue in which too many parties are involved: the weapons dealer, the powerful father of the kidnapped girl, her French boyfriend, Corsican terrorists and Simon's ex-girlfriend whose body might be described as a deadly weapon...

Persons of interest

  • Dennis Rodman .... Simon
  • Dane Cook .... Nick Miranda
  • John Pinette .... Micro
  • Ricky Harris .... Macro
  • Filip Nikolic .... Michael Gabrielli
  • Natalia Cigliuti .... Claire Fence
  • Jérôme Pradon .... Ashton
  • Xin Xin Xiong .... Xin Xin
  • Henry Courseaux .... Bernard Gabrielli
  • Igor De Savitch .... Colonel Jacques Telore
  • Clayton Day .... William Fence
  • Jean-Michel Dagory .... Frenais
  • Moshe Diamant .... Screenwriter
  • Rudy Cohen .... Screenwriter
  • Kevin Elders .... Director

Intelligence analyst

Secret Agent Acid Thunder

Theatrical report

Life as you know it is coming to an end: humankind has stooped so low that athletes are now the same as actors.

Bollocks.

The USA is the land of money making. The fame associated with starring in a Hollywood ("More stars than Heaven") movie is no longer reserved for those who can act, look pretty or sleep with directors. It's now officially open for anyone who can get lots of press and write an autobiography. That said, it's no small wonder that lots of people have heard of Simon sez, starring that Chicago Bulls guy.. you know... u minutes... (*looks at Propaganda*) oh yeah, Dennis.

Hollywood has given an athlete a role in a stupid action flick (surprise) like Shaq in the originally-titled Shaq.

I hate seeing idiots when I'm watching a film and there are far too many of them in this one. Dane seems to have been chosen for his impersonation skills (you can see "Insert wacky impersonation here" written all over the script) while John and Ricky seem to have been chosen because they don't match (black and skinny vs white and obese). They didn't have much dialogue, just notes saying "Improvise zany skit here". It's lame.

Watch only if desperate.

Security censorship classification

M (Low level violence)

Surveillance time

85 minutes (1:25 hours)

Not for public release in Australia before date

VHS rental: Undated June 2000

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Simon sez image

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