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Ready to rumble

Threat advisory: Guarded - General risk of entertaining activities

Movie propaganda

They're headed for the big time... face first.

Professional wrestling. The sport of kings. The wrestlers are the heroes of history. Giants come and go in this great sport, but there is only one King. - Gordie Boggs

Wrestling champion Jimmy King (Oliver Platt) is everything die-hard wrestling fans Gordie Boggs (David Arquette) and Sean Dawkins (Scott Caan) would love to be. A dreamer, an athlete, a true champion - with his crown, cape and sceptre, he is a giant in his profession. Other wrestlers can only tremble in fear of his deadly finishing move: The Crown - a two-handed flying slap.

Gordie and Sean live at home, have dead-end jobs and no girlfriends, but none of that matters on Friday night when they at last get to see their idol live and in person at the local WCW coliseum.

But as the lights swirl and the nitro girls dance, something goes horribly wrong for The King. He is ambushed by a ring full of hostile turn-coats. At the match's shocking end, Jimmy King takes a mighty, career-ending fall. Heartbroken and in shock, Gordie and Sean nonetheless decide to embark on an odyssey of discovery to root out their fallen hero.

In space 14 of the Saint Francis Motor Court, they come face to face with a drunken, bitter Jimmy King, a phoney with a made-up past whose inspirational phrases were scripted. But Gordie and Sean will not be discouraged. Beneath the beer gut and grizzle, they still see glimpses of their hero and vow to do whatever it takes to restore their King to his throne, no matter how many rules - or bones - get broken in the process.

Persons of interest

David Arquette .... Gordie Boggs
Oliver Platt .... Jimmy King
Scott Caan .... Sean Dawkins
Bill Goldberg .... Himself
Rose McGowan .... Sasha
Dallas Page .... DDP
Richard Lineback .... Mr Boggs
Chris Owen .... Isaac
Steve Borden .... Himself
Joe Pantoliano .... Titus Sinclair
Martin Landau .... Sal Bandini
Caroline Rhea .... Eugenia King
Tait Smith .... Frankie King
Ellen Albertini Dow .... Mrs MacKenzie
Kathleen Freeman .... Jane King
Lewis Arquette .... Fred King
Steven Brill .... Screenwriter
Brian Robbins .... Director

Cinematic intelligence sources

Ready to rumble official movie site
Studios and distributors:

Warner Bros * Roadshow Films

Intelligence analyst

Special Agent Matti

Theatrical report

Trash. White trash, but still trash.

And it's not that sympathetic kind of white trash like you get in Boys don't cry or End of innocence or Drop dead gorgeous, either, this is insulting, contemptuous, opprobrious white trash. The kind out of which the piss is being taken.

And there's professional performance wrestling, too. World Championship Wrestling with real wrestlers and real sets and real nitro girls and real crowds.

*Shudders*

Anyhoo, Ready to rumble makes no bones about what it sets out to achieve, which is create an entertaining film about a real life situation which is based on an unreal existence. Hang on, that's too deep for this film.

Ready to rumble is about a couple of loser WCW fans [tautology - Ed.] who become heroes by never stopping to realise that their dream isn't real. Hey, it's Hollywood. Anything can happen. Laugh along with the fecal jokes, the male bonding through frequent acts of physical violence, the big men in skimpy lycra costumes rubbing up against each other. This is a guy movie, aimed at the lowest common guy denominator, which, as you will know, is pretty damned low. One average guy has an IQ of 100. Two average guys have an IQ of 50. Three average guys have an IQ of 33. Four average guys...

*Shudders*

Oh well, at least guys can urinate while standing up.